In Honor of Herr Hohmeyer

You know, it’s funny what we remember from childhood.

Today, I started the day by going for a walk as it snowed. I kept waffling: writing/chores/walk…walk/chores/writing…sleeping in/writing/tax stuff….

Walking won out.

I love “bad” weather, love it when it snows, rains, or it’s windy. Love the good stuff, too, but am just saying, bad weather doesn’t necessarily deter me from doing things. Having to do other things deters me from doing things. What to do first. But, today, the early walk won out, It was cold, blustery, and, as I mentioned—snowing.

In short, it was beautiful out.

And hardly anyone did I pass, given the weather and the early morning hours—it was great. Passed some dog walkers and a Park and Rec guy cleaning graffiti off a sign (I thanked him for that).

But every time I go out on my walk/hikes, I always think back to a guy who took his daily constitutionals past our house when I was a kid, which was a couple miles down from his place—a local restaurant he owned, called The Lodge. His name was Mr. Hohmeyer, and he used to be a U-Boat commander. That’s all I remember of him—besides his daily walks and eating in his restaurant. But what really stuck with me all these years was how he walked every day (at least in my memory of him)—and I believe he had a cane and maybe even sported an “old world” rimmed hat of some kind from time to time (damn, how the memories are beginning to fade…)? In any event, I’d frequently see him briskly (and I do mean briskly) striding down Route 30, cane in hand, head held high, back ramrod straight, always a wave or a “hello” as we hailed each other. He always seemed to be in a good mood, and I think occasionally, would give that cane of his a little extra “panache” as he strode on by.

He was cool to me. Fascinating to watch.

So, every time I go out for my “constitutionals,” especially in inclement weather, I always think of Herr Hohmeyer. I give him honor and a mental nod. I think about his brisk stride, his smiling face, and that cane of his, and I always wave to him in my head.

Bis spater, Herr Hohmeyer!

My New Goal In Life

Since we’re into winter, and I can’t always head out into the park I leave nearby to get my hikes in, and since I don’t want bulky exercise equipment again taking up interior home space, I’m getting back into rope jumping.

Yeah the very same jumping of rope we all did as kids.

Over the years, I’d also done “heavy rope” jump rope, which was, literally, a heavier rope (I think the rope was about an inch in diameter), and I got pretty good with it. But after some serious use, the handles kept coming apart. I never understand how manufacturers never dealt with obvious equipment flaws like this, or perhaps they did so on purpose to get you to buy another—but that makes no sense to me, cause if’n it broke the first time, I’m certainly not going to buy another. And I haven’t.

So, I bought a new speed rope, and I began using it—and quickly found out, wow, it’s, uh, been a while. Not only in technique, but in cardio fitness level. It looks easy, not much effort whipping that rope around you with simple flicks of the wrists, but let me tell you, it takes good cardio to do that for any length of time, the way it ramps your heart rate up and in no short order. But there’s also technique. I thought my cardio was in “decent” shape, given what I currently do, but, it’s not the same. So, I’m quite looking forward to getting back into this, and if you are too, check out this site for some great tips on buying a rope and using it.

But this guy, man, he takes it to a whole new, over the top trick-jumping level!

Now, I could (Karen L.!) make all kinds of allusions to rope jumping and writing, in that both need development of a “cardio system,” and the building up of that “system” into a well-honed, well-oiled machine. That writing and rope jumping are all about “baby steps,” small steps, few leaps (except for the few exceptionals who can produce “trick jumping,” as illustrated above), constantly picking at the effort every day to get better and better; about both involving larger, greater issues at hand, like overall fitness levels and huge manuscripts and complex story lines, emotional intricacies, and that all begin and are created with small steps (“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…”). That both involve learning and mastering techniques. Becoming “One” with the medium. And that both are fun in the pain that comes with the burn….

But, nayyy…I won’t bore you with all that.

Enjoy the video.

Superstorm Sandy

Increasing stratospheric water vapor at Boulder, Colorado. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Earlier this week an absolutely nasty storm hit the eastern seaboard of our United States and wreaked utter havoc and devastation upon our land. As of this writing, 92 people in the U.S. have died from this storm, bringing the storm’s total loss of life since it blew up from the Caribbean (good Lord, this thing was fricking huge) to 161, and there are estimates of between $30 and $50 billion dollars of damage. Billion. To see the images of the near total destruction in some areas is heartbreaking. I have family and friends in the affected areas and have tried to contact them, but the lines of communication are clearly not what they were last week.

Why are these massive superstorms happening? Apparently even all the learned minds can’t even agree, everyone has their opinions about Global Warming, and don’t even try to get Zen on the matter, cause you’re immediately laughed off (cue: Oliver Stone’s statement of punishment), but the most recent National Geographic article I’d read about the mechanics of superstorms does accuse Global Warming in that in the warming of the Earth, more water vapor is being evaporated into the air, and with more water in the atmosphere, and other atmospheric physics I can’t recall nor spit back, storms are simply getting worse because there’s “more ammo” at their disposal (my words).

Now, as to the root cause of these storms, Mother Nature being pissed at our politicians, governmental conspiracies, the normal planetary cycle of life and weather, et cetera, I’m not going to speculate, except that I believe all things are related, and everything is tied to everything else, in the most Zen of ways. I don’t believe in arcane punishment, Mother Nature or otherwise, but I do believe in collective angst. All you have to do is look outside to see angst subject matter everywhere you look. But that’s not my drive here, today.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by this massive superstorm. It’s horrendous and dispiriting, but I hope that we can all rise up from this disaster and rebuild physically, mentally, and spiritually. There’s not much that any of us can say who are not directly affected by this storm, but, please, be strong, persevere…and have faith that you can rebuild and rise above this.

Related articles

• Scientists look at climate change, the superstorm (rdmag.com)
• LOOK: Complete Superstorm Sandy Lifespan From Space (huffingtonpost.com)
• Superstorm Sandy: US ‘needs to face up to climate change impact’ (telegraph.co.uk)
• How Does Climate Change Make Superstorms Like Sandy More Destructive? (thinkprogress.org)

The Animal

The Animal: The Dyson DC39, Radial Root Cyclone™ Canister Vacuum

And by “The Animal,” I mean the Dyson DC39 Animal, 275 AW, Ball™ technology, Radial Root Cyclone, HEPA filtered, canister vacuum cleaner.

Anyone remember Tim The Tool Man Taylor and his trademark simian-like grunts?

Well, earlier this year, we got one—and at a pretty good discount from Sears, of all places—and this bad boy mamajamma really gets the business done. I mean, it really makes you wanna vacuum.

I jest not.

Guys are somewhat visually oriented. Sometimes we’re also, well…a little “thick” when it comes to certain things.

Like vacuuming.

When my wife and I do the housecleaning, we divide up the duties. I get the honor of vacuuming. Now, I have to admit, I’ve kinda always liked “making things come clean,” I know, it’s a weird thing and some may beg to differ…but it’s true. I’m not obsessive at all about it (some may heartily agree here…), but I have my moments. Well, when informed that I really should vacuum every other week—perhaps even every week—I kinda, um—balked. Yes, balked.  We used one a those “closed canister” vacuums before…The Animal.

We’ll never go back.

One day, I thought, okay, I’ll vacuum the “every other week,” and I’ll see just how much is picked up by the Dyson DC39.  You see, folks, The Animal has a see-through canister, where you can actually see the dirt pile up, and—bonus!—it spins around really, really fast!  So, in essence, it’s kinda like a video game! And…since guys are largely visual in nature, we get to see the actual fruits of our labor—not to mention the 275 AW Ball™ and Radial Root Cyclone technologies—in action!

<cue Tim The Tool Man Taylor trademark simian grunt!>

Now, when I first grabbed hold of this bad boy, my first impression was not immediate love. It’s made of light plastic (it’s only 22.9 pounds). If you’re not flexin’ and strainin’ your muscles under the heft of at least a 30-pound slug, why bother, right? Where’s the substance to the equipment? But I have to say, it’s light for a reason, and that reason makes it easier to handle for those not ape-strong for the more anchor-weighted machines of yore. But, what really got my attention, and fast, what really absolutely, positively hooked me was its ability to pick up animal hair—pa-ronto. This thing is engineered to pick up animal hair and dander, and this baby delivers. What used to take me, say, 15 minutes…now takes me less than 5.

And when I checked the canister after just one room…the canister was full.

That means that what I’d thought was clean from my previous vacuuming was a bald-faced lie.

It wasn’t clean. Not even remotely.

But I discovered another fact: it was actually fun vacuuming with this piece of haut technology, cause it was so badass. It was quieter, faster, and easier. I could see the dirt…whipping around in the canister. It was now like I wanted the house to be dirty—really dirty—the dirtier the better, so I could go around sucking up even more dirt, seeing more dirt swirl around inside the canister, emptying the immediate fruits of my labor.

I…had become…a Hunter of Dirt.

<grunt!>

Me and The Animal against the soils of the world…roaming free on the untamed carpeted (and hardwood-ed) wildlands of domesticated terrain…alone with my thoughts…my hardware…my finely honed senses and skill…and a hungry HEPA filter.

And I was good at it.

I could say I “bagged” more than my limit at every outing—but there is no bag. Just that wonderful, see-through canister (ooh, isn’t she a beauty?).

So, if you can swing it, I highly recommend the Dyson DC39 Animal, 275 AW, Ball™ technology, Radial Root Cyclone, HEPA filtered, canister vacuum.

Carpets shudder with antici…pppa…tion…at its approach.

A Return to the Straight and Arrow—Traditional Archery, Day 3—Or Going “Obi-Wan”

Aim Without Aiming, Frank (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had my first-ever archery instruction yesterday, and it was eye-opening.

You’d think, gee, a stick, a string, and an arrow. How much “tuning” does a “stick and string” require?

How about bracing height, nock point, arrow rest thickness? Throw in a string waxing for good measure.

I’m not going to get into all those, those can be found with some Internet searches, and it wasn’t about all the bow tuning. It was all about the “Instinctive Training.” It was fascinating. How to shoot without aiming. I told him he was getting all “Obi-Wan Kenobi” on me.

Heh-heh.

Yeah, we had a good laugh, then this weird look came across his face, there was a wave of his hands (or something), and I kinda lost track of what I was saying….

But it’s true. And how is this best explained?

Like throwing a ball.

That’s it. And how do you get better? By throwing more and more balls. That’s the trick. Shooting more and more arrows.

We talked about stance  (look at the picture of the archer in this link; see how the archer’s head and torso are angled?), canting the bow (look at the picture of the archer in this link; see how the bow’s angled?), best and worse anchor points, dragging that damned hand along the face after release. I had some difficulty with that one. The rest of my form is fine, but I seem to have issues with “just relaxing the fingers” and letting the string go (perhaps a Zen analogy on life...?), not plucking the string (okay, nock it off with the Zen, already!). Sometime my fingers “fling out,” but I think most times they touch my shoulder. The other times they do go in the general direction and, yes, I can “scratch behind my ear.”

Practice.

Targets?

We don’t need to no stinkin’ targets.

We shoot at “nothing” (there is no spoon…) or part of an exploded balloon at 20 yards (later we moved it in to 10, to work more on the form and finger release issues). I liked that. I had two hours of instruction, then stayed another hour, and I only put up a target in the last 15-20 minutes, just to do so, but I was tired by then, so the hits on the paper don’t near do just to how much frigging better I did and felt over the course of the instruction. The whole “lift-aim-cant-release” I found extremely cool, not-to-mention quite helpful, and, admittedly, reminded me of all those “cool shots” in movies nowadays, where villains no longer shoot a handgun upright anymore, but turn em 45 or 90 degrees to take the shot (though, of course,  I didn’t tell Obi-Wan any of this—I did want to remember some of my instruction…).

But, I was grouping! And in a good way!

And, not only that, but there were several distinct moments during all this grouping and tiny balloon-shard, non-spoon targeting (we never actually targeted anything on purpose, it was all about the form;getting close to the balloon was bonus work), that it all actually felt right.

There, I got all Obi-Wan on myself.

Yeah, I could actually get that internal, Zen feeling as I stood there—at arrow release—that everything fell into place and the shot was near perfect (well, at least in my book). It was a cool feeling. It’s like when a writer’s ”in the zone,” and it all just flows, you’re lost in the act. You’re not “a writer,” you’re the writing.

Aim without aiming, my friends!

A Return to the Straight and Arrow –Day 1.

A Return to the Straight and Arrow –Day 2.

A Return to the Straight and Arrow—Traditional Archery, Day 2

Still All Over, Still Pulling Left, But Grouping Better!

Ouch.

Turns out my right ring finger is still quite, well…”annoyed.” I talked with my soon-to-be instructor about it and he recommended the “tab” (archers use “tabs” or “gloves” to pull back the bow string, it’s much easier on the flesh, since we’re all not superheros nor nineteenth century woodspeople…) I use should be at least two, preferably three layers in thickness. I believe mine is considered “two,” with one felt and one plastic layer. But my concern with the numb finger is to get the most “twang for my buck (heh-heh, like that!), come instruction time. I don’t want to be focusing on pain and improper physical ability if I’m paying money to learn how to do this right, and I can’t do “the right” if my body ain’t cooperatin’. I can muscle through it, sure, did so for an hour yesterday and through half of my first session, Monday (and you can see how well those went…), but I don’t want to waste my time and money, nor my instructor’s time, if my body isn’t “working right” to properly follow instruction. So, no more range until I see him late next week, and I’ll be looking at a thicker tab.

So…went out to the range yesterday to see if I could do any better with the replaced arrow rest (see comments from Day 1), and I kinda did, though it may not look all that different from my first target, but around 4 or 5 “ends” in (Lune, a commenter, was kind enough to point out [pardon the pun] that a “sessions with arrows,” when you run out and put down the bow to retrieve them, is called an “end”–thanks, again, Lune!), among a couple other groupings, I actually had a grouping of THREE arrows in the center yellow (the inverted “L” at the bottom center of the yellow). I must have been doing something right. And, BTW, I never once hit the backstop, this go-around.

Overall, I felt much more confident and feel I did a heckuva a lot better shooting this time—and I was actually grouping arrows, though am still somewhat pulling to the left.

I really have to say, I love the feeling of the bow.

It has been so long, but I love the feel of it all—nocking arrows, drawing the string, targeting. Watching the arrows as they fly through the air and head for the target. That thump! as they strike the target.

Nothing like it.

A Return to the Straight and Arrow–Day 1.

A Return to the Straight and Arrow–Day 3.

Run For Your Lives – A Zombie-Infested 5K Obstacle Course Race!

This is so damned COOL! Check this out. Though I’ve heard of the concept, I had no idea this was going on (well, had gone on) yesterday, in Lakewood, Colorado.

Here are the rules, but essentially, you run a 5K obstacle course with “flags” attached to a belt, like in flag football. It’s your job to get to the end of the race, and it’s the zombies job to get all your flags and, well, eat your brains.

I’d heard of this starting up, but hadn’t been following it’s incredible take off across the country. Denver’s run yesterday was fourth among 12 in what’s called the 2012 Takeover Tour. In Denver’s run, there were 750 “zombies,” people who [really] play the part of different kinds of zombies (“stumblers” and “chasers”), and there are definite rules to their “brain-eating antics.”

And lots of “blood.”

But also mud, hills, water, and any of a number of HUMAN-made obstacles. Watch the video if you haven’t already–looks like a blast!

And if running from zombies–nor being a brain-eater–ain’t your pound of flesh, then grab an Apocalypse Pass as an spectator (man, they’ve thought of everything)!

Anyway, check out their site, it’s quite expansive and has lots of cool stuff, info, pictures, et cet. Even a FAQs page.

The next apocalypse is set for August 4, in Washington State. Better hurry.

Last one there’s a brain-eater.

Energy Drinks—Really?

Energy Drinks (Photo credit: D.ST.)

It absolutely floors me that twenty-year-olds need energy drinks.

That anybody between the ages of teenage-hood through their thirties would actually need this stuff.

But many seem to carry their drinks around like badges of honor. The stuff is marketed to their demographic. I’m not saying I was a Greek God in my 20s and 30s, but I certainly never even tried the stuff until into my late 40s. In my college days I did try (but never inhaled) bee pollen.

In my 20s and 30s were my most intense workouts. At one point I did four types of workouts within a single week and I got (for some period of time) ungodly small amounts of sleep.  Yet, during these intense training sessions did I use any “energy enhancers”?

Negative.

I’m not dumping on twenty- and thirty-year olds. I’m just curious as to the explosion of this entire phenomena. When I was in m 20s and 30s, I was quite energetic. And I know everyone’s metabolisms are different, lifestyle demands, et cet, but, still, to lump the demographic into one package and observe the amount of twenty- and thirty-year-olds downing the stuff astounds me. And it does so for another reason: I’ve tried a handful of them and not only do they taste like fricking acid (haven’t found one that tastes any kind of “good”), but in every case I experienced no “surge” of energy.

Zero.

Yet, I admit, on days when I’m absolutely beat, I still try them to see if maybe (pleeease, Lord in Heaven!) they can help…but I just do not and never feel any “lift” from any of them.

I literally get more effectiveness out of loads of caffeine (and by “loads,” I do mean a couple 12- or 16-ounce Mountain Dews, or a Starbucks Venti or Trenti iced coffees).

Note: even Starbucks is now getting into the “energy drink” biz, with Refreshers. Anyone but me find this just a tad more than ironic?

I’ve always had a fast metabolism, and even now though it’s not what it used to be (my appetite remains legendary within familial circles), it’s still higher than most people. So, does “running hotter” play in any of this, in that slower metabolisms are more easily affected?

So, okay, according to the [short] history of energy drinks, these things evolved on our end of the pond as a way to help college students pull all-nighters and young professionals to pack more hours into their days. I’ve tried the Gatorades. Jolt cola. Red Bull, Monster, and those ridiculously tiny bottles of Five-Hour Energy (both regular and hyped up), and probably one or two other brands.

Nothing.

I wish I could report something.

Buuut…I can’t.

But still…energy drinks…for twenty- and thirty-year-olds?

Floors me.

Perhaps what’s really at the heart of my issue is that many of today’s “youthful” are not all that healthy, which means they are vitamin or minerally (that a word?) deficient? Are all those “hyped-up” energy drink ingredients really making up for dietary deficiencies…not to mention invoking a “placebo effect” in many users (I read a National Geographic article about caffeine research, and some respondents claimed immediate energy gain after drinking, say, a Red Bull, when it’s scientifically proven the effects of caffeine on the human condition take one hour to feel.

An hour, people.

But, again, what does a twenty- or thirty-year-old need with this stuff?

Where is all that youthful energy? Why is it only found in bottles? Or is it even more basic than that, and it’s merely the marketing people are buying [into]. They may work on others (as advertised) but I’ve never found any one of them to work on me, and to find them marketed to the youth of society (as you might gather by now) utterly stupefies me. If those things really do work, then they need to be developed and marketed to the soccer moms and dads, those who work 60+-hour weeks. Firefighters. The military (heck, they already have caffeinated gum). Marathon runners (but they’ve already been doing this for centuries, so do they really need them?). Those are the people who need the help to keep going and going and never stop.

Not twenty-year-olds.

Montana Firefighters Leave Note for Family

Family Finds Note Left By Firefighters.

People are people, no matter what they wear or what they do. Good souls exist everywhere.

This actually brought a tear to my eye.

Waldo Canyon Fire—Raw Video