Update on WIP: Second Set of Comments In!

You're Such a Tease. (By Russ Anderson from London, UK (MGDK's middle) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

You’re Such a Tease. (By Russ Anderson from London, UK (MGDK’s middle) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons)

I received the next set of comments from a family member who is also a book editor. For professional reasons, I can only title this person as an “editor.” Here are some of the editor’s comments on my WIP…again, these are also quite encouraging! I’ve always been good with the idea of the story, but have not really been quite sure how this story might be received…but it’s looking like those who read it are quite taken—even “intrigued”—by it. And isn’t that what writers strive for? To write something that grabs or touches readers?

Of particular note, this editor even mentioned how “shockedthey (not giving away his or her gender) were by what I’d done with the ending. How cool is that?


Wow. Love it.

So, here are the editor’s comments. Again, as I’d stated in my previous blog on the subject, I’d sent the editor questions to help me assess my effort. I’ve included some of these questions where necessary, but those that give away too much of the story I’ve left out of this post or deleted content. I’ve also deleted content that is of a more personal note.

The editor’s comments:

It’s a different book than I remember looking at 10 years ago! The characters and some of the scenes seemed familiar, but more developed and focused.

From an editorial perspective, the manuscript works! It flows; it’s relevant; isn’t bogged down with unnecessary detail; avoids tangents; stays true to the plot.

From a reader’s perspective (if I can truly separate the two—editorial vs reader…), it’s a really powerful story! If I’m being honest, the fantasy/metaphysical genre isn’t my wheelhouse, but with respect to the story itself, <WIP> was intriguing. I wanted to understand the voice in Ben’s head more <deleted material>, so that definitely kept my interest. I liked the chemistry between Ben and Kendra, and the sex scenes (hello, pink elephant in the room!) could give E. L. James a run for her money.

(FPD: Really, I could give E. L James a run for her money? How cool!)

Question: So, did you think it all “fit” the story?

Answer: I do think it all “fit” when you consider the story as a whole and the different personalities of the characters, the infidelity, and Ben’s internal struggles—as well as his “fantasies.”

Question: Wasn’t “too much”? Yes, graphic, but did the scenes “work” for the given story? I was trying to strike a contrast between the mental and the physical. It had to be stark.

Answer: It was definitely graphic and definitely stark; and if the scenes had lacked the momentum you achieved—the buildup—they would have seemed too much; but given the context, the scenes absolutely worked.

Question: The ending make sense?

Answer: The ending definitely made sense! It wasn’t the ending I was expecting at all! <Deleted material—but some really cool comments on being shocked by what I’d done, but the editor’s comments gives away the ending! :-] >

Cool standalone comment: I think you highlighted the fact that everyone has skeletons and secrets; either we act on them, or we suppress them—whatever “they” may be.

Question: Any other comments?

Answer: If I’m being honest, the metaphysical content in the last couple chapters clouded things for me—but that’s a personal opinion. I see why you went there, and it worked in its own way. I mentioned before that metaphysical/fantasy is not my wheelhouse, but I respect its inclusion in <WIP>.


Thank you, “editor” for all your time and effort!

I still waiting on  two more readers, including my Cover Dude, Lon Kirschner (also keep an eye out for some near-future blog posts, probably starting this Fall, where Lon and I are going to highlight and comment on some of his work, which I love! I’m really looking forward to these posts!), then incorporate them, format them, then will shoot for a July/August 2015 release!

Related Articles

About fpdorchak

Speculative and paranormal fiction author. Please check out my website: https://www.fpdorchak.com/. Thank you for stopping by!
This entry was posted in Book Reviews, Leisure, Metaphysical, To Be Human, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Update on WIP: Second Set of Comments In!

  1. Your editor mentioned the skeletons everyone has… reminded me of the backstory of the main male protagonist/antagonist in 50 Shades of Gray. Cigarette burns. Nuff said.

  2. Pingback: The Pink Elephant in the Room | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  3. Pingback: Voice–An Erotic Tale of Nonphysical Love | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  4. Pingback: Starting A New Novel | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  5. Pingback: Voice Available Through Amazon Pre-Order! | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  6. Pingback: Chicken Before The Egg | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  7. Pingback: Canceled Voice Pre-Order | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  8. Pingback: Faux Metaphysical Interview with F. P. Dorchak, Author of Voice | Reality Check

  9. Pingback: A Faux Interview with F. P. Dorchak, author of VOICE | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  10. Pingback: Voice—What Is My Genre? | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  11. Pingback: Full Voice Cover! | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  12. Pingback: Voice is Released! | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  13. Pingback: Voice Is Released! | Reality Check

  14. Pingback: Voice Delivered… | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  15. Pingback: Incredible Voice Review! | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  16. Pingback: Sex in Fiction | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

  17. Pingback: Voice – Free Review Copies! | Runnin Off at the Mouth….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.