Of particular note, this editor even mentioned how “shocked” they (not giving away his or her gender) were by what I’d done with the ending. How cool is that?
Wow. Love it.
So, here are the editor’s comments. Again, as I’d stated in my previous blog on the subject, I’d sent the editor questions to help me assess my effort. I’ve included some of these questions where necessary, but those that give away too much of the story I’ve left out of this post or deleted content. I’ve also deleted content that is of a more personal note.
The editor’s comments:
It’s a different book than I remember looking at 10 years ago! The characters and some of the scenes seemed familiar, but more developed and focused.
From an editorial perspective, the manuscript works! It flows; it’s relevant; isn’t bogged down with unnecessary detail; avoids tangents; stays true to the plot.
From a reader’s perspective (if I can truly separate the two—editorial vs reader…), it’s a really powerful story! If I’m being honest, the fantasy/metaphysical genre isn’t my wheelhouse, but with respect to the story itself, <WIP> was intriguing. I wanted to understand the voice in Ben’s head more <deleted material>, so that definitely kept my interest. I liked the chemistry between Ben and Kendra, and the sex scenes (hello, pink elephant in the room!) could give E. L. James a run for her money.
(FPD: Really, I could give E. L James a run for her money? How cool!)
Question: So, did you think it all “fit” the story?
Answer: I do think it all “fit” when you consider the story as a whole and the different personalities of the characters, the infidelity, and Ben’s internal struggles—as well as his “fantasies.”
Question: Wasn’t “too much”? Yes, graphic, but did the scenes “work” for the given story? I was trying to strike a contrast between the mental and the physical. It had to be stark.
Answer: It was definitely graphic and definitely stark; and if the scenes had lacked the momentum you achieved—the buildup—they would have seemed too much; but given the context, the scenes absolutely worked.
Question: The ending make sense?
Answer: The ending definitely made sense! It wasn’t the ending I was expecting at all! <Deleted material—but some really cool comments on being shocked by what I’d done, but the editor’s comments gives away the ending! :-] >
Cool standalone comment: I think you highlighted the fact that everyone has skeletons and secrets; either we act on them, or we suppress them—whatever “they” may be.
Question: Any other comments?
Answer: If I’m being honest, the metaphysical content in the last couple chapters clouded things for me—but that’s a personal opinion. I see why you went there, and it worked in its own way. I mentioned before that metaphysical/fantasy is not my wheelhouse, but I respect its inclusion in <WIP>.
Thank you, “editor” for all your time and effort!
I still waiting on two more readers, including my Cover Dude, Lon Kirschner (also keep an eye out for some near-future blog posts, probably starting this Fall, where Lon and I are going to highlight and comment on some of his work, which I love! I’m really looking forward to these posts!), then incorporate them, format them, then will shoot for a July/August 2015 release!
- Update on WIP: First Comments In! (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- Update on WIP: Out For Proofing (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- Surrendering To The Role (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- My Short-Lived Modeling Career (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- What I’m Working On For 2015 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- Unearthing the Bones (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
- Wailing Loon (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)