For Whom The Gods (burp)

I think once you read this, you’ll see where I came up with the idea. But if I tell you now, it kinda gives things away.

The universe is so incomprehensibly vast.

How can it be everything?

What’s containing it all? Outside it—and how can there even be a defining boundary?

Who’s running the whole dang show?

These are all deep, powerful philosophical investigations into our origins that I utterly shatter, simplify, and minimize in my latest effort.


This has never been published.


For Whom The Gods >burp<

© F. P. Dorchak, 1991


“Isn’t it amazing how the galaxies appear?” the young one, Latissimus, inquired.

“Yes. There is nothing else quite like them, is there?” replied Trapezius, the Elder.

“No, nothing. How do you think they formed—I mean, some are so symmetrical while others are so disorganized!”

“Well,” Trapezius said, “they may appear disorganized to us from our limited vantage point, my pupil, but have you ever thought that perhaps—from other vantage points—they are very symmetrical?”

Latissimus pondered.

“Good point, Trapezius! Now let me ask you another cosmological question, since you seem to know much of this universe.”

“Know so much of the universe? Ha!” Trapezius said, snorting, “I, too, am a mere student, not an Oracle!”

“Oh nonsense! I know you for what you truly are—a wise and learned man!”

Trapezius held his head in humility.

“So, pray thee, what is this burning question of yours, that you seem to be teasing me with, Latissimus? Pray the gods I am worthy of such a challenge!”

“Oh, but you are, Trapezius, you most certainly are!

“My question, that I put to you, is: If the notion of the closed universe is true, what lies beyond the universal boundaries?

At this, Trapezius guffawed a mighty open and merry laughter!

“Oh, Latissimus, you are surely a feisty one—for that question cannot simply be put to a simple answer!

“The universe, if it is indeed as is thought, will expand, only to contract upon itself. This in itself brings an interesting postulation. For if the universe is indeed all, then from what is it all shrinking…and to what is taking up all its previously occupied space? How can it even fall back unto itself?

“Furthermore…even if the universe is open, as some say…what is it expanding into if it is everything?

“These questions are not those that I can easily corner into an answer—a dialectic perhaps—but nothing is certain. You would be better off putting such a question as to how the galaxies get their very form!”

“Then that I do, my mentor! How do yon galaxies attain the form with which they sustain? Pray thee, I inquire!”

“My friend, Latissimus, you are certainly an endless pit of curiosity this day! Let us to investigate, then, to one in particular. Note that one there, the asymmetrical one next to Quesandromidea….”

From a direction opposite and behind the philosophical prolegomena emerged a dark form…growing increasingly enormous in configuration and nascent in proximity. The two engaged in dialectic noticed it not, the shape blotting out the celestial fires to half the heavens.

{^.^ Xi yihYii kytc chatgh aNf ^.^}*

An immense fork reached down into the milky swirls below, a piece of French toast impaled upon its four-pronged end. The Hand at the other end absentmindedly swished it around in the starry sauce, the bright speckles sparkling spectacularly. The God returned to His actions, The Other nodding in agreement, He/She/Its Grin so immense that the magnetic fields of neighboring nebulae distorted.

* (translation:) “I just love the Magellanic Clouds, don’t you? They taste so sweet and cinnamonny!


Short Story Links

Links to all my posted short stories are here.


About fpdorchak

Speculative and paranormal fiction author. Please check out my website: Thank you for stopping by!
This entry was posted in Comedy, Metaphysical, Nature, Short Story, Space, To Be Human, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to For Whom The Gods (burp)

  1. Pingback: Short Story Listing | Runnin Off at the Mouth....

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.