Where am I?
Well…I’ve got a few chainsaws in the air (for the record, yes, I did use to juggle…some…not chainsaws).
I had begun work on my next novel. However, as I did I’d heard from AuthorHouse that my first novel, Sleepwalkers, had finally been reinstated as the eBook it had once been—and should have been all these years. I’d also begun talking with my formatter, Pam Headrick, to finally put Psychic, which I’d released in 2014, into an eBook. I had not done so because of finances. But a couple of months after Pam had started-and-been-delayed she had developed some pressing issues of her own and had to bow out, but had referred me to a couple of other formatters to complete the eBook conversion.
So after checking out her referrals, I found one and was ready to roll and get that baby out there. I was poring over the Psychic file to prepare it for conversion, when I’d discovered that something extremely funky had happened to the file: somewhere along the way, apparently random sentences in the file had been broken up!
A word, a phrase would be “returned” into its own line, it’s own sentence.
And there was no apparent consistency as to why.
So I am now going through it literally line-by-line, comparing the electronic file to the trade paperback version. Sentences and formatting have been so all-kinds-of-messed up, and in at least one case, the last phrase of a sentence had been flipped before the first phrase—and turned into its own paragraph.
How the hell does something like that happen?
“Magic,” someone had once told me, that‘s why weird shit happens.
So, that is going on.
I’m also in the process of working on a bunch of my photographs (is the proper term a “gaggle” of photos”? A “murder” of photos?) from the past year I’ve been wanting to post. I also intend to throw up (“vomit”?) a stand-alone site for my photography, at least for the better of my photographs. I even plan on having some for sale. Well, that’s the intent anyway. But anyway, I’m trying to make a go at getting some of the better of my images up on a blog post or three and into its own website.
But wait…there’s more:
Since dumping Facebook in December, I’ve been giving a lot of thought as to how to rework/reinvent/rethink how to better present my writing so…you know…I can actually sell stuff.
I’m a lost cause!
I don’t really think there is anything to change. I don’t have a lot of resources nor time to really get out there and canvas the globe. And every time I turn around there is some other author who claims that doing This or That will prove successful. Will sell books. I’ve been on social media for many years, I’ve gone to author gigs, sat on and moderated event panels. Kept up on the industry. I simply do not have the resources to do all these nifty marketing opportunities to further get my work out there. Everyone keeps telling me that “this one will really work”…but, sadly, none of the ones I’ve ever tried have ever “really worked” for me, and I can’t just keep throwing money at every single opportunity that promises riches, however well-meaning the advice.
Thing is, I am happy to be able to write my stories, do it my way, and release them. My life goal has always been to be able to write full-time and live off my writing. And while I do have six books out and so many short stories, I have not been able to live off of any of them.
Life has always been good to me! I’ve always tried to follow the Fall Line of my life, and on a certain few occasions when I’ve tried to nudge certain aspects of it “here and there,” I’ve always been put back into my place. As it were. It’s really weird. I don’t believe in Fate, but as I look back over the course of my existence in this reality, it really does seem like my journey had a certain…theme. And my goal of being able to write? Well, I have met that goal: I have written and released books. Sure, my work isn’t famous nor selling, but I have been able to write.
So all this talk about reinventing my approach?
This is where I’ve ended up after it’s all said and done. Thirty-two years of pushing my work. I just have to accept that. If literary success is still to come, fine, I am open to it, but I’m just gonna keep writing that next story and enjoy my life, because, maaan, I’ve written some cool material! Even some I reread!
I have no idea how to reinvent my approach to selling books. No idea how to better get my stories out there…without having tons of money to do so.
And it all takes money.
But I also seem to be missing some other elusive “key” that others are finding who’ve been doing it far less than I have and are finding some measure of success. Everything in my life happens for a reason, for the better…so, perhaps all of this is for the better. And, yes, I have been successful, even if it doesn’t look like so to the IRS or Big Publishing.
Where does this leave me?
I’ll keep writing…but not in the crazed fashion I used to. While some of them are fun, I don’t know that I’ll even do all the author gigs I used to do. I get no book sales out of them and they cost me. I am not in demand for panels and interviews. No one cares about my exposure—I’m not successful in any literary sense—why should they? I get it. Social media? Been involved in it for years. No sales there, either. This is not Sad Sack. This is taking stock…a hard look at where I am, where I’ve been, and to where I am headed.
But, hey—I finally won a national award!
So none of this is a bad thing!
It’s just something different.
I’m simply being realistic and reorienting my head. Adapt or die, I always joke. So I am adapting. To what, I’m not sure…but I am leaving myself open.
Thank you all for reading my work!
For those who have helped bring it out—thank you for helping me bring my ideas into reality!
I can’t thank you all enough! It has been a blast! It still is! And it will continue to be!
Life is a journey.
And it’s a journey I’m still excited about!