Yup. I am. Everywhere.
In my continued evolution from sub-beast to neo-human, I’d played around with NOT using any of the above for a couple of weeks and found…that I just didn’t miss them. At all.
I just didn’t care about them.
Really? I’m looking at pictures and tweets and whatnot and liking them?
WTF, over…and why?
What is the point to it all?
What am I doing here? With my life?
The Dirty Water in the Bathtub
I have been told by many that “clicks translate into dollars.” Well, not on my watch. Clicks translated into time. And effort.
Sure there are some cool things out there, and information, Lord God in heaven, oh-so-damned-much in-for-ma-tion…but just like I cannot save the world, I cannot be everything to everyone, and going through everyone else’s life online is just weird, when my own life is being whittled away while doing so.
Having food, conversation, or coffee with a person is one thing…do all THIS…damn it…is quite another.
I have mentioned several times before that I’d gotten into all of the above purely for promoting/marketing my stories. Well, none of that has panned out for worth a damn. Sure one or two people may have found my work, but that doesn’t fund retirement. And I’m tired of all the noise. The whining. I’ve been blogging since 2007. Been on Twitter since 2009. I got rid of Facebook (again) this past December.
I asked myself why would I even want to continue on any of the above, given the returns…and I couldn’t come up with any useful, driving reasons. I mean, I’ve even cut way back on my blog posts. Just haven’t felt a burning need to post.
What it comes down to is that I am finding that I am transitioning into a different feel to my life. A different energy. And I’m actually excited about leaving all this behind! And I wanted to give those who followed me a heads up that I’m leaving.
I [seem to be] am redefining certain areas of my life…note I’m not talking about my writing. I’m talking about my actual life.
And I don’t want to live it immersed in all this noise. Having to feel like I have to check this or that platform…make myself known to the world. Get myself OUT THERE. The fact that this is even a discussion is, in itself, just plain weird to me.
But I’ve tried all that. Perhaps not as insanely as others, but enough while keeping all the other things I have going on outside of writing going. And as I take continued-and-realistic stock in my writing efforts I discovered that not any of what I’ve done mattered. Yes, I’d found a good virtual friend or two, one or three interviews, but no substantial sales through any of it. And it is such a time suck, so the return on investment was dismal. Yes, admittedly, I’d even had some fun with it. But fun is fun, and promoting is promoting, and I didn’t get into social media for fun.
I just do not need to do social media (SM) any more. I don’t need to make myself more interesting to the reading public so they can see I have depth and be interested in reading my words…because no one’s reading them. I say this calmly and rationally, with a practiced and analytical eye. I’m not getting down on myself at all. I’m being brutally honest.
I’m tired of thinking about SM and behaving “that way.” Spending the time on it. Tired of thinking of ways to promote myself…which seems to either piss people off that I’m doing it, or it rolls off their backs because they just don’t care.
And then there’s this: recently I received an update to Pinterest’s EULA. I put it off, because it’s, like, 500 pages long. Then this week was the last straw: I got the same things from Twitter and Instagram. They tell me it’s to better inform me about all the data they’re collecting and sharing about me.
Well, I’ve never wanted to have “data” collected about me in the first place, and I’m tired of it. Tired of every time I go online that I have to read yet another 500-page EULA. Tired of being told I NEED TO HAVE A PLATFORM by publishing peers and professionals or my writing career will fail.
Well, here’s a news flash for y’all: my publishing career failed WITH social media!
Now, what did I do wrong?
Well, I don’t care, I’ll stop y’all right there. My career is what it is at this point in my life for whatever reason, whether or not it might be considered a traditional publishing “failure.” But I am truly happy with the work I have put out there. If I wasn’t, I would not have put them out there. The fact that the general public doesn’t feel the same apparently cannot be helped.
I have talked up others’ works, have even interviewed others. And I didn’t do it as a means to getting those who I’d interviewed to interview me…I did it because it was fun to do so, I liked those who I’d interviewed, and thought I would like to spread their news and have it NOT always be about me. But…except for a couple of people, Marc Schuster being one great virtual friend…the flood of reviews and interviews (“they” said would happen if I reviewed and interviewed others) never came. After 11 years of online interaction. I mean, really, you’d think someone would be interested in something about my writing. In a world full of billions of people.
But, apparently, nothing online has generated any buzz about any of my work. So…my work being anything but interesting to the general masses…why continue taking time out of my life to continue with SM?
Why keep my blogs and website?
Good question. We’ll see how things go. Keep the website for some semblance of trying to sell books. Some point-of-contact for me, for some futurely reason. I’m still an optimist, so a part of me still wants to at least have part of a foot in the door.
As I analyze even deeper…I honestly don’t know if it’s a metaphysical thing where I’m causing the All-Of-Nothing to occur…or I’m just uninteresting to the public at large. I honestly never wanted to be famous (it’s never been about that)…I just wanted my works read.
Why is being read so important to me? It’s important to me that I write (at this stage of the game)…but why should I continue to push my work on others?
Hey—look at me! Look at my stories! Aren’t they great? Read them!
No…that feels weird to me. Always has. I figured the importance was in me writing…and if others found my stuff interesting enough to read…if the stories metaphysically found their way into other people’s hands…then so be it. I tried to help that along. Eleven years of promotion. Nothing.
So…I’m not. Not continuing the S[&]M game, blogs and website notwithstanding.
I’m taking the metaphysical hint.
Apparently I am not meant to go in that direction and I’m tired of blowing my own horn…or not-looking-like-I’m-blowing-my-own-horn-but-I-really-am-because-that’s-what-“they”-tell-you-to-do.
Perhaps I am just burned out right now and things will change once I get away from it all. Don’t know. Not worried about it. My every intent is to not return. Things have a way of working out for the better for me, and I do plan on continuing to write…I’m just changing how I do everything else about writing.
I’ve often joked that had I not been a writer, I would never have gone into SM, and I do believe that that would have been true.
I’ve been doing all this for over 11 years—my first blog post was March 18, 2007—though, as my first blog posts says, I’d been on the Author’s Den site “for years” before actually doing anything. Nothing substantial has ever come out of any of this, so why keep doing the same things, when the same useless results result?
To that end, anytime within a couple of days of this post I will be bringing down all of my abovementioned SMs (I know…just temporarily deactivate instead of killing these accounts, just in case, but only because they’re making it difficult for people to leave by saying you cannot use the username you had if you do come back; I find that either lazy coding or unethical behavior; why shouldn’t someone be able to leave and if they come back reuse the same username if it’s not taken? Is that really that difficult to program into these freaking applications?)—and I am excited about doing this! And who knows, maybe I will actually kill all of my SM and say to hell with it all!
I am simplifying my life into something much more meaningful.
I will continue to follow some blogs, but will further weed them out even more (I’ve already begun this practice). I want to put my online energy to better, more productive use.
But…a huge THANKS! to those of you who have supported my work and hung out with me! Thank you for reading my words.
It was fun, but I’m redefining what “fun” is in a new phase of my existence. I don’t know if I’ll return to any of this or not…and right now I truly do not care if I ever do…but for now I’ll keep what I’m keeping up…and be open to other directions my energy will continue to guide me toward along the “Fall Line” of my life….